AfteRebirth

I'm in love with a war that I can never win and arms that I will never touch.

I fear only what I shouldn't and I laugh at things that are not funny.

When the tide rises again, I'm taking this canoe across the world.

I will drink the salt water and let microorganisms blossom in my esophagus.

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We're in the winner's circle, but we haven't won yet.

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Masturbatory at best; your breast

by the behest of the king's joker

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I feel restless and a little like a baby bird chipping it's way out of an egg.

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Tomorrow I am going to go to the library and I am going to print out all of 2011's entries because I'm too sick of 2006 to finish it. It's such a giant unholy mess.

Dear God, please send me an editor.

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Outside the house, you can smell the sea and she is a musky warm salt.

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Keep writing, keep writhing.

I'm out of practice and it's hard to admit to myself.

Self, you're out of practice.

That wasn't so hard.

And now it's coming. Let it come.

that'swhatshesaid.

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I've been writing a short story about a curious little owl.

I stopped at the part where the frog is explaining to the little owl what his reflection is.

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I know how to solve my multi-blog problem.

I don't understand how it's taken me so long to just grab this plan and stick to it.

My plan is to just write one entry and then post that entry to all of my blogs.

And that way, I won't even need to obsess too much about the prospects that one blog disappears because I'll have back-ups!

Why didn't anyone suggest this to me?

It's so simple!

You guys. -shakes head-

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My exboyfriend from junior high has been facebook messaging me nearly every day recently and you know, it's really nice to have a friend.

The day that we broke up he found me smoking my first cigarette on top of the dug-out at my elementary school's baseball diamond and he threw them in a puddle.

Way to go, dude.

I would pay him to do that for me now.

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PInto beans

Yeah, i don't know why either.

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Solving my multi-blog problem has instantly solved my every problem with my life.

YES, NOW LET'S GO GET FAMOUS.

I'm joking. I'm not going to get famous without any help and there are too many avenues for me to choose from.

Fucking "free country."

I NEED LESS CHOICES.

Something I noticed from working at the costume shop, was that Americans are much more likely to buy something the less choices that they have.

I was much more likely to sell a cigarette holder, for example, if we only had one kind in stock.

Showing people upwards of 4-6 different kinds of a product is an almost sure-fire way to kill a sale.

what I learned from this is that the most important part of being a retailer was selling myself instead of the product in a way.

I spent the most time learning about who my customer was and what they were doing and then I made a recommendation on a single product based on what I felt would fit their needs best. Then I would tell them why I felt the way that I did.

I am a disgustingly good salesman.

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Writing that inspired me to look for a job here.

Jesus.

I am like back in the kindergarten of writing.

AWESOME

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Life has been remarkably easy for me since I graduated college.

This scares the SHIT out of me.

Also, someone brought it to my attention last night that I am currently rocking a Justin Bieber haircut.

This also scares the SHIT out of me.

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In other news, I am going to start writing a novel and it's going to look exactly like one of my entries. I'm pretty much just going to edit my online journals down and cut all of the bullshit crap out and just send that out because I'm sick of thinking that what I need to do is try emulating what is successful.

(which I haven't yet done. The mere prospect of doing so made me just stop writing altogether)

I'm going to return to listening to my instincts and producing what -I- think is good.

I don't care if I never get published because the truth is that I probably won't send my stuff out because i'm a scaredy pants and therefore don't deserve to be published, but at least I will be making art that is true to me.

At least I won one award, huh guys?

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I will drink the salt water and let microorganisms blossom in my esophagus.

Expelling a bouquet of fungus, I plan heartily to become a vase.

My tongue rolled out like the living room rug.