FIREHANDS

Garhob

I don't know what that means, but I like it.

When I thought what a "garhob" would be, I decided that it was probably a loogie, but the kind that one gets when they are developing a sinus infection.

Have you ever put your garhob on a plate and poked your finger into the center of it in order to test how solid its core is?

Of course you haven't.

--

Dear God and Jesus and Frank Sinatra,

I deleted my myspace last month in a fit of unchecked paranoia and anxiety.

I have also, in the process, probably deleted some of my writing that I will never be able to get back.

This is self-mutilation and it's not cute.

Okay guys, let's place bets on if I make it where I'm hoping to or if I succumb to the pressure of the overpopulated universe.

I think I'll sit this bet out.

--

Recently I finally learned how to play blackjack because I was able to do so on a video game (Fallout: New Vegas) and thus I was able to learn without anyone watching me.

This is why reading is so wonderful.

Because you get to learn the entire time that you're reading (if it's any good) and if anyone looks at you, they can't judge you for being stupid because they feel stupid because they are not reading and can therefore suck all the dicks in Texas.

(Insert either mean joke about how guys in texas are huge dicks or flattering joke about how guys in texas have huge dicks)

Something like that.

Really, none of that is true, but I do understand more about blackjack.

Hit me again

(that'swhatshesaid)

--

It's 2 am and I have chewed all of my fingernails off and am more nervous than ever.

I hope tomorrow is nicer and I wish that I had a friend so that I could stop awkwardly reaching out to people that I like and either alienating them in the process or making myself look like a huge fool.

Apparently I used to be cool.

What the fuck happened, man?

--

REMIND ME TO OPEN AN IRA ACCOUNT.

This woman told me that if I do this, then one day even I can retire.

Wouldn't that be nice?