A 2015 New Year's Resolution

WHEREAS, Miss Gianna Volpe is a writer of untested cunning and strength; and 
WHEREAS, Miss Gianna Volpe is in need of a New Year's resolution; and

WHEREAS, creating structure and discipline is her own responsibility as a freelance writer ; and
WHEREAS, either submitting one story or updating one of her blogs each day should positively affect her growing career; and
WHEREAS, Miss Gianna Volpe has been asked by several fans of her formerly often-shared creative writings to begin to do so again; and
WHEREAS, Miss Gianna Volpe, the governing body in and for Agent Jane Fox, finds that the proposed resolution will be in the best interest of the residents of the community;
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by Miss Gianna Volpe that she endorses and supports application of such a New Year's Resolution; and that
Agent Jane Fox will direct Miss Gianna Volpe to prepare and submit one story or digital blog post each day on her own behalf or on the behalf of a hiring publication. Agent Jane Fox is designated to act in all matters in connection with this application, and to do all acts necessary to carry out the intent of the Resolution.
APPROVED, PASSED, AND ADOPTED by Miss Gianna Volpe, the governing body of Agent Jane Fox, at her regular meeting of January 1, 2015. 

Pharming for phun

Today I spent a few seconds punching my eyes back into focus.

(That's healthy)

Tomorrow I will hang from a large silk attached to the ceiling like a mermaid princess (what?) and apparently my wrists will hurt and so will the whole of my arms (oh good)

I have been fascinated lately by the fact that despite the fact that everything is an old idea being regurgitated anew, things usually, somehow, seem new or close to it. "Take that as a compliment" I said to another today and I thought, "My, I can't remember when that was said last,"and the other person laughed as though they'd never heard it before, though they undoubtedly have.

Mange, strange

turn the page,

garnish your wage,

take out your rage,

all the world's a

peppercorn ranch.

Pounced, Flounced

And double bounced.

Cashed checks, ship wrecks, good sex and sound effects

Round necks, knickers,

TV clickers, double dippers

dolphin flippers and DVD rippers,

rappers, flappers and hand clappers,

clobber a robber,

clamor with a rambler

skim a scam then skin your man,

tie down your toiletries and write up all the royalties

Spoiled trees, rotted buoyancy

drowning FOIL fees

freezing boiled dreams

Fly with me.

Beni-no-no-never ever again

Once upon a time, I needed to be alone and now I am never alone long enough.

Sleep is never too much.

And when it is,

I am too anxious

to awake

Harbor ale

mystery snail

Colt and bolt and robots

Today I ate a cauliflower and I wrote an article about Eagle Scouts and I had many posts and I still feel like

Skyscrapers, date rap-ists

Fake-up make-up

local yokel focal points and laughs and lingers

my fingers unfurl and twirl in your hair

while you're bare

naked

FIRST OF ALL,

Thanks.

thanks.

thanks.

thanks.

thanks.

I'm too ambitious.

One day, I'll be like,

Et tu _________ (insert your name here)

Where do I belong?

In the ground, little bird.

You have nothing to offer this world, so quit trying.

I keep getting out of bed in the morning, at 6, somehow.

It gets done. I'm getting a belly and I'm beginning to get varicose veins in my hands.

I keep hoping I can smooth them out again to no avail.

The more I look at this, the more I wonder if I'm a sacrificial lamb instead of an apprentice.

Cross your fingers for me and hope it's not a cross I'll be nailed to.

I miss the Island.

I've missed so many moments wrapped up in what I shouldn't be.

Spinning my hot wheels cars into the nearest wall and as I'm picking up the pieces of the wreckage, I'm told I needn't have driven in the first place.

Don't scoff at the fact that I whipped out a highlighter. I wanted to make sure I got the story right. When you scoffed, I panicked and I just wrote. and wrote. and it came out, All. wrong.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

A 'Thanks' dealt on autopilot feels worse then nothing at all.

A moment of melodrama brought to you by your not-so-local something or other.

I say so seriously, I have no idea who I am anymore.

Who are you?

Someone's got to be someone around here.

I saw All the President's Men for my first time last night.

I'm not kidding; I'm that much of a loser that I've only just seen All the President's Men.

It was. fucking. gold with a side of opals.

FIREHANDS

Garhob

I don't know what that means, but I like it.

When I thought what a "garhob" would be, I decided that it was probably a loogie, but the kind that one gets when they are developing a sinus infection.

Have you ever put your garhob on a plate and poked your finger into the center of it in order to test how solid its core is?

Of course you haven't.

--

Dear God and Jesus and Frank Sinatra,

I deleted my myspace last month in a fit of unchecked paranoia and anxiety.

I have also, in the process, probably deleted some of my writing that I will never be able to get back.

This is self-mutilation and it's not cute.

Okay guys, let's place bets on if I make it where I'm hoping to or if I succumb to the pressure of the overpopulated universe.

I think I'll sit this bet out.

--

Recently I finally learned how to play blackjack because I was able to do so on a video game (Fallout: New Vegas) and thus I was able to learn without anyone watching me.

This is why reading is so wonderful.

Because you get to learn the entire time that you're reading (if it's any good) and if anyone looks at you, they can't judge you for being stupid because they feel stupid because they are not reading and can therefore suck all the dicks in Texas.

(Insert either mean joke about how guys in texas are huge dicks or flattering joke about how guys in texas have huge dicks)

Something like that.

Really, none of that is true, but I do understand more about blackjack.

Hit me again

(that'swhatshesaid)

--

It's 2 am and I have chewed all of my fingernails off and am more nervous than ever.

I hope tomorrow is nicer and I wish that I had a friend so that I could stop awkwardly reaching out to people that I like and either alienating them in the process or making myself look like a huge fool.

Apparently I used to be cool.

What the fuck happened, man?

--

REMIND ME TO OPEN AN IRA ACCOUNT.

This woman told me that if I do this, then one day even I can retire.

Wouldn't that be nice?